My mama taught me that it isn’t nice to brag, and I’ll bet yours did too.

But it turns out that our mamas weren’t quite right. The Bible actually endorses bragging as long as it’s bragging (or the word is actually boasting) in the right person. Here’s how Paul says it to the Corinthians:

“We are not going too far in our boasting, as would be the case if we had not come to you, for we did get as far as you with the gospel of Christ. Neither do we go beyond our limits by boasting of work done by others. Our hope is that, as your faith continues to grow, our sphere of activity among you will greatly expand, so that we can preach the gospel in the regions beyond you. For we do not want to boast about work already done in someone else’s territory.  But, “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”  (II Corinthians 10:14-17)

Paul uses the word “boast” over and over again in his letters to the Corinthians, and when I was teaching on this passage in a session from my Breaking Up with Perfect retreat, I took a look at the definition of the root word. In scripture, the word boast could also be translated as “rejoicing in” or “glorying in.”

Our Proverbs 31 speaker team had a call last week, and Lynn Cowell began to encourage us to boast more– to boast in what we are seeing the Lord do as we go and speak.

I find it hard to break that old habit of not boasting at all, but I think Lynn’s right. When we boast in Jesus’ work instead of our own, it’s something entirely different. It’s rejoicing in Him. It’s giving Him the glory. Boasting encourages the people around us. It reaffirms the continuing work of God. It gives people hope that if God works in that situation, He can work in theirs too.

Listen to how my friend Sharon Glasgow did it on her Facebook page:

“Our 87 year old ‘Farmer’ neighbor fell off his tractor, it rolled over his chest, crushing bones and causing internal damage. He laid on the ground for 4 hours and couldn’t move. When help found him, they said his cows surrounded him in a circle! We asked the neighbor telling us the story what they were doing, he said, ‘Praying!, The Farmer came to a wedding in our barn this past weekend. Yep! He’s alive, well and still farming! God’s got more work for him here!” ~Sharon Glasgow

Sharon is always overflowing with stories of God’s power, and I often read her bragging on Him on Facebook by telling what she has seen Him do at her speaking events.

I want to begin this practice of bragging on Jesus! So here I go:

Last weekend I spoke at Highland Baptist Church in New London, NC. To tell you the truth, even though the women were warm and complimentary as they left, I wasn’t sure if my message had made much of an impact. I collected all my things,including the cards on which they had written a break up letter to Perfect, and left. The next day, I fished the break up letters out of my bag and began to read. Tears filled my eyes when I realized that Jesus had truly set women free. They declared freedom from:

• Worry
• Being in control of everything
• Fixing everyone
• Loneliness
• Being judgmental, critical, and complaining
• The insecurity of caring what others think of them more than what God thinks
• Trying to be what they’re not
• Feeling unworthy and not good enough
• Working to do everything right
• Trying to make everyone like them
• Playing games
• Worrying about not measuring up or having all the answers
• Competing with others
• Shame and feeling inferior
• Being embarrassed by their physical appearance
• Fear of not meeting expectations
• Trying to be the perfect mom, perfect wife, perfect friend and keep a perfectly clean home
• Feeling shame over past sin
• Jealousy and distrust
• Feeling responsibility for a loved one’s betrayal
• Handling all the problems for their children
• Holding on to hate

Whew! Y’all!!! Jesus was doing tremendous work behind those beautiful, smiling faces, and I wouldn’t have know if they hadn’t been so honest in their break up letters.

So I’m bragging on Him. He is good, and He is at work. How about you? Would you brag on Jesus here? How have you seen Him at work lately?

This is the last reader question for a while, but I’ve had a great time interacting in this way with you! We’ll do it again soon, so either send your questions as you think of them or store them up for next time. 🙂

I was wondering if you had recommendations for specific resources we could use when doing research for our messages.  For example, I love it when teachers share the original meanings of words but don’t feel like I have a reliable place to go and look that information up.  Are there any specific resources, commentaries, etc. that are reliable sources of biblical information?  ~Kate

Oh, Kate! You have hit one of the passions of my heart– resources! I’m a total resource junkie, so here are some places to try:

For FREE concordances (for word searches) and commentaries:

• BibleGateway
• CrossWalk
• First 5 App— Proverbs 31 Ministries’ First 5 App has archives so that you can go back and read commentaries written on the books already covered. I am personally growing so much from this study tool!

For FREE word origins and definitions:

• Blue Letter Bible (It requires a little searching, but this site has Greek and Hebrew lexicons, so you can type in a word to see the origins. Very cool!)

For the Bible study tool I use:

• Anne Graham Lotz has a comprehensive page with lots of resources about how to use the 3-step Bible study tool I learned from her. It’s simple but profound, so if you’re looking for a way to deepen your personal study, make sure to look here!

If you have money to invest, I’d highly recommend Logos Bible study software which has been invaluable for me.

Alright, Speaker Girls! Here’s your chance! What’s your favorite Bible study tool, and where can we find it?

Let’s keep the questions about testimonies rolling! 

I have recently written down my testimony. I wrote it all down so that I could really process and think through what God has done in my life, and also so that I could more clearly share my story. This written form of course leaves out so many details along the way, as I limited it to about 2 pages. Part of my story is that I grew up in the church and chose to follow God from a young age. Although I never wavered from the faith, I did struggle with sin in certain areas of my life (as we all do). I feel like I could tell my story in so many different ways, focusing on so many different pieces of who I was and what God has done in my life. So my question is:

Is it always appropriate to share all of your testimony, or is it better to share pieces based on your audience’s needs or speaking topic?

For me, there were so many things that God was doing in me simultaneously because of the fact that I was a believer from a young age. I remember when I asked Jesus to be my Savior, but my life didn’t have this dramatic turn around moment. God took me from:

Impure thoughts/actions – to purity

Shyness – to boldness

Plagued by Perfection – to complete in Christ

Jealousy – to contentment

And, the list goes on and will continue to grow.

Basically, I have been struggling with feeling guilty if I don’t admit what I would consider to be my “darkest sin” all the time. But then again, I don’t know if it is always appropriate to share. I think God uses that piece of my testimony when it will directly minister to the individual I am talking with or the audience I am talking to. Any thoughts?

Thank you! ~Emily

Emily, I think you’ve actually got two questions here, and both of them are important.

#1– Is it always appropriate to share all of your testimony, or is it better to share pieces based on your audience’s needs or speaking topic?

It’s almost never appropriate to share all of your testimony simply because all of us have too much to tell. The details of our story can easily begin to overwhelm our listeners and obscure our point. If we keep our testimonies audience-centered like I talked about last week, we won’t include every detail. Instead, we’ll have a point that leads people to transformation.

In a Q & A one time, a woman told me that it would be impossible to NOT tell her whole story. As lovingly as possible, I gently said something she didn’t like at all. I told her that any time we’re in love with every detail of our story, we might not be ready to tell it. Until we love our audience and their needs more than the gratification we get from spilling our own story, we’re not ready. Because you’re asking the question, it shows a willingness to share pieces, so I know you are ready, Emily!

Note: Every part of our story is important and precious to God. Please don’t hear my response to that woman’s question as heartless. It just has to be more about them than us in ministry. I apply it painfully that truth to myself all the time–I promise!

#2– Does our audience have the right to every part of our story?

Years ago at a conference, I found a friend who had led a breakout session literally cornered by an attendee who was berating her for not sharing intimate details of her story publicly. Another friend of mine in ministry felt guilty for not revealing a personal crisis to her audience since she felt she owed it to them to be honest about her life.

Here’s my blunt take. In my opinion, our reality tv culture is wildly out of control. Those of us in ministry are called to be beyond reproach, but that doesn’t mean that we must tell every private detail of our lives to our audiences even if they demand it. There must be enough of a separation between public and private for us to protect our families and ourselves. Don’t hear me saying that we should hide personal sin because that’s not what I mean at all. I simply mean that our lives’ priorities should line up like the rest of the world’s–God, family, others, us. Our stories often overlap with others’, and we don’t have the right to expose them.

Here are questions that we can ask ourselves about sensitive parts of our story:

• Does this story involve someone else? Do I have their permission to share?
• Will sharing hurt a personal relationship that’s already on rocky ground?
• Is this hurt a fresh hurt? Have I found healing that I can share?
• Will this story benefit my audience or feed a voyeuristic/reality tv mentality?

I’ll give my own example. I have a son who has struggled with a pornography addiction. This is something lots of families face, but I didn’t include that part of my story in my messages until time had passed, he had shared it publicly first, our family had experienced healing and some victory, and I had his permission to share it. Now that all those markers are met, I include it in my messages sometimes (not all the time), and it has opened lots of doors to help other moms whose kids are also struggling.

My goal in this answer is to give each of you permission to keep parts of your story private. No one has a right to your story. You should only share it as God leads and as you have considered all the points above.

Do you all have thoughts on this? I’d love to hear!